its STRONGER than DEATH
Saturday, June 30, 2007
*Dreams*--> Hmmm. Been a fruitful week shopping for GSS. Shopping, Shopping and even more Shopping! Went shopping with ying! ((: It was gr8 literally! Yeps dear. WE should do it some time soon before I head overseas! On Thurs, went shopping with CHAR. There was this huge ZARA sale which I spent a bomb shopping there. Omg! Lynn and CJ joined us soon and there was even more shopping. Tsk tsk. Went out with Jenny Jenny! Aw, I miss him so much! We went to watch TRANSFORMERS. The show is uber cool I tell you. UBER COOL! ((: Went to walkwalk and met Jason for a chat. Then went to Adams for supper. Had a good time as always.
Somehow I feel rather down somehow. Like there's so many troubles in me, I just don't know how to express it all out. I feel like I need a shoulder to lean on. A decent one.
Please don't break the pedestal you've put me on.
-Mel :(
-loves
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
*Dreams*--> Don't know why I haven't been updating my blog! HEES. I've been spending my time fruitfully! Spending more time with the people that mean loads to me! ((: For the past 2 weeks, been working in NYP! It's fun! Cos' the people that are working with me are UBER FUNNY! Really enjoyed myself there! Cos' it feels kinda home-ly!
Last week, went to watch Fantastic 4 with Jenny & Mr. Ng! The show is interesting but... STUPID PLOT! But what can I say? It's from a comic! Went shopping with Mr. Ng on Saturday & Sunday! Didn't manage to buy alot of things but nonetheless it was fun! He told me I can go mad shopping, he'll just be a clothes hanger. HILARIOUS! Watched Nancy Drew on Sunday with him too! Hi 5 slept over my place on Saturday Night. Thereafter met them awhile in the afternoon before meeting Mr. Ng! The sleepover was alright. I felt so guilty cos' Ying told me I kicked her off the bed. For a moment I was thinking..."SINCE WHEN DO I KICK?". Haiyo! Zq slept uber early! PIG MAN! But still, I enjoy my time with them! ALOT!
This week is my break week! So I'll be spending my time SHOPPING! Have been doing so for the past 2 days! Met Marilyn dear today! I just enjoy talking to her! So fun! So nice! ((: HEEHS. We walked around ALOT! I hope it didn't bring any harm to her leg which is still injured. Take Care ok girl?! ((:
Meeting Ying tomorrow! FOR SHOPPING! Goodness. Truely this is what girls do! HEEHS.
-Mel
ITS LESS THAN A MONTH AWAY! I'll be gone soon. :( Many misses.
-loves
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
*Dreams*--> Since I made my decision, I won't regret it. Actually I think I'm feeling much better than last week. Starting to face up to reality that HEY! I'm leaving SOON! I'd better cherish the moments here! Heehs. I'm starting to feel sad-ness whenever my friends tell me they will miss me because I know I'll miss that SOOO VERY MUCH too!
Bestie is pretty sad! And I feel so bad! Levin Bestie! I know accepting my departure will be tough! But don't worry! I'm always around. FRIENDS ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS! Communication nowadays is so EASY! ((: Download Skype! And.. buy a webcam soon! Don't worry ok! I'll miss you so much! Thanks for being my uber support! ((: You will always have my love! Oh yah. I WILL CALL U ON UR BIRTHDAY! Don't worry!!!!!
Marilyn dear! I'm sorry for letting you know the news so abruptly! I'm so going to miss chatting with you. I can't believe these months how close we've become! You've become not only my listening ear or confidant, but my most beloved friend! ((: I hope we can see each other soon before I leave! Thanks for you advice and support! YES! I'll be looking forward to your visit! Don't worry! We'll find ways to keep in touch! ((:
Hi 5! I know you guys were affected when I told you. Right after I did, I felt so emotional! But no matter what, I know we'll always be there for each other? Remember what was written in our blog? "Even if we're far apart, our hearts will still be together" I appreciate the support and love from all of you! I WILL CALL U GUYS OFTEN! Esp. my Jiemei! And Ying! ((: Will go Melbourne to visit you! PROMISE!! ((:
My dear girls! Council! Mr. Ng and Jenny! I love all of you guys! ((: Thanks for your encouragement.
At this time of need, I have all of you to thank!
"If I fly away, will you ask me to stay?!"
-Mel
-loves
Sunday, June 17, 2007
*Dreams*--> These few days have been really torturing... to my brain. I made a life-changing decision. It may bring changes to the lives of many but most of all. A CHANGE THAT IS GONNA CHANGE MA' LIFE!
I've decided to continue my studies in EHL, Switzerland. And I'm going to leave next month when my new term starts. Upon receiving the letter, I was so confused. I was scared and I'd even thought of telling people I got rejected instead. But after the advice, persuasion and help from many of my confidants, I've decided to go. Everyone says the same thing. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity for me. And.. I can't believe I'm actually gonna go.
Upon making my decisions, there were many tears shed. I don't want to lose anything or anyone! :(:(:( I'm unsure about what will happen when I come back. Will things change? Will people change? Will I lose someone along the way? But I guess its all a test of faith. A test of faith of how much I mean in the hearts of others and how much people mean to me. But as they always say.... Technology is so advanced now. It's so easy to communicate with each other. BLAHBLAHBLAH. Unfortunately there is a time difference....of 6 hrs. So, when its 6pm there. It's midnight here! **TAKE NOTE OF THAT!!
I read Char's Blog! I'm can't bear to leave you guys too!!
I can't bear to leave! My Family, Hi 5, 05s09 clique! Mr. Ng, Jenny & Bestie, Queensway People! Council! All my beloved people! :(( Sad-ness..
Most of all.. to leave the one person that has my whole heart. :(:(:( *Cries*
-Mel
"Cos' I'm leaving on a jetplane, don't know when I'll be back again! So, Kiss Me! And Smile for Me! Tell me that you'll wait for me! Hold me like you'll never let me go...."
-Mel
-loves
Saturday, June 16, 2007
*Dreams*--> Yep. I thought it through. I'm STABLE now. Sometimes no matter what, we've got to make decisions we don't want to make. We have to sacrifice. LOST really depends how one looks at it. I just hope that come this decision, everything else will remain alright. Maybe from there, I'll attain true happiness.
Because of this 1 decision. It made me realize how some things really meant the world to me.
-Mel
-loves
Friday, June 15, 2007
*Dreams*--> Thank GOD ITS FRIDAY! ((:
It boils down to this. I'm sad. But its fine.
-Mel
-loves
*Dreams*--> I seriously dread this transition in my life where I have to make decisions which I'm so unsure of. It now seems as if no one understands AT ALL. LIKE no one wants or WISHES to hear me out? I hate when people try to look and understand things in their perspective thinking they know what's best for me! When, HELLO! I don't even know what's best for myself. Don't try to tell me that outsiders have a better point of view! When I believe decision making should be made with what I BELIEVE in not what OTHERS THINK! :( It's like they are just looking at the picture trying to force me into it. Why can't they look at me being comfortable in another picture?
Honestly, I respect many opinions given. But I believe I can get to choose the opinions I wish to accept and who I accept them from. I know many people care for me, but right now it reaches this brim in my life where I NEED to think about my future, my life, my love! I won't shut myself to silence. dont worry! I just need to talk to those that I trust most in ma' life who can make me feel comfortable telling them all my frustrations.
IF you are reading this, I'm alright! Don't worry!
IF I ever leave... this world/this country/this life :
I would want to have the best memories ever. Be it LOVE, LIFE or FRIENDS or CAREER, I want to make the most out of my life.
-Mel
AHH!
-loves
Monday, June 11, 2007
*Dreams*--> 1st Day working in NYP! Not bad. The environment is kind of nice. I just totally DREAD the working hours! 11 to 7? I know its 8 hrs. BUT! Till 7oclock? TIRED lehs! *Sigh! Come and go. I see poly graduates fitting on their Graduation Gown. I wonder when that day will come? When will I obtain my degree walking in a oh-so-cool graduation gown and mortarboard? HAHAHA. Honestly, I fear for that day? A DAY WHERE I got to worry about how ends meet? True enough. I reached the age where I'm FORCED to grow up. HONESTLY I HATE IT. I miss school. I miss wearing my school uniform. I miss waking up early in the morning to attend assembly. I miss rushing to class becos' I needed to take something in the locker. I felt so protected in JC. THOU I know that wasn't so much of a good thing, I enjoyed my JC life and I'm miserable to see it end. I just don't understand why I'm still caught in this "I WISH I WAS STILL IN JC" mentality. How i wish I would just.. GET A LIFE! Pardon me. I just hate slacking. HATE working. HATE having nothing to do but watch TV and play computer when I get home. PRODUCTIVITY = 0. Perhaps I look at school at a different perspective. HAIS.
Jason & Jenny came over for steamboat yesterday night! It was so random. But it was fun hanging out! AS USUAL. They never fail to tickle my funny bone. NOT LITERALLY. But still, dinner was fun! ((:
I can't wait for the weekend. I been feeling like that very often lately! Weird. HAIS.
-Mel
I want an angel to bring me happiness? Pweasseee??
-loves
Sunday, June 10, 2007
*Dreams*--> Been pretty busy this past week slacking. This week was my rest week. But apparently I don't find it relaxing at all cos' everything seems to be in a constant rush and I've been going out pretty often! Next week will be the start of my new job at NYP. Kinda short term thou, around 2 weeks plus? Hope I enjoy working there! Working life seem to be mundane. I miss studying. I miss those mugging days. ARGH! I can't wait for University to start! I can't WAIT!! But then again I have yet to emphasize that I haven't received ANY OFFER LETTERS YET. So for those of you who have been repeatedly asking me that question of which course I got into, this is your answer!
This past week. Have been chilling much with my alter ego AKA Char Char. Omg! I don't know what I can do without her. HEES. She better not be that happy yet alrights? Met up with Sherms on Friday! ((: I've been missing her.
TODAY - Went out with Hi 5 to Plaza Sing area. Went to Mind Cafe near Paradiz. FUN GAME. I think the concept of the whole Mind CAFE is uberly cool. And uberly unique. Duperly similar to Settlers. I have never been to Settlers thou. HAHA. Then, Me and Zhaoqi went to Pasta Mania for dinner. Haven't eaten there is AGES! We recalled the last time eating there together like last year. UBER LONG ALR LAH! Food was alright. Walked to Centerpoint so I could meet Lynn and Char. Met Sam for drinks at the Balcony! I MISS SAM. Omg! It just came to me of the times me and sam used to meet up after school to walk to Teck Whye to buy bubble Tea. HA. I miss him loads. So I hope we meet up often, yupps?
This is depressing. I need amusement. Life is getting DULL as the days go by. HAIS
-Mel
-loves
Friday, June 08, 2007
*Dreams*--> I HATE it when people ask me if I have received any acceptances yet. I hate that my parents and siblings call me everyday to ask me about SWITZ. I hate that people tell me that it is CONFIRMed that I will be accepted. It totally DOES NOT help. It doesn't. I'm not even sure what can help me now?
A HUG MIGHT HELP! But still....
-Mel
-loves
*Dreams*--> ANNOUNCEMENT. Bestie did my friendship test again and scored 100! But because its good memory, and not cos she noes me well, I shall not take it into account. The highest is still JENNY.
:(:(:(:( I may have not been sad these days but I'm sure ain't happy. Where have my angels flown to? :(:(:(
-Mel
Marilyn is back. YAY!
-loves
Thursday, June 07, 2007
*Dreams*--> BEEN slacking these few days with my dearest CHAR! I miss JC! I miss hanging out in college with Hi5! With my girls - Kris, Mag, Char, Lynn, Fel, Jas! 05s09! AWW.. And also.. COUNCIL! Hais. Those were my beautiful moments.
Went French Today! Je'ampelle Melissa! Comment Ca Va? HAHAHA. That is.. "My Name is Melissa, How are you?" HEEHS.
RESULTS FOR MY ONLINE QUIZ ...
#1- Jennyang Goh -80
#2- Jason Ng -73
#3- Lynn Goh -73
#4- Melvin Chan -73
#5- Soh Ying Huey -60
#6- Melissa Char -60
#7- Levin Sim -53
#8- Yeo Jasmine -53
#9- John Khoo -53
#10- Christine Tan -46
Mr. Ng! I'm disappointed. 73?? Tsk Tsk. *Shakes Head* I expected better!
CHRISTINE TAN! I'm utterly hurt! :(
Proof me wrong- Proof that you know me well enough - go to.. http://www.truefriendtest.com/friendtest/391970 ((:
-Mel ((:
-loves
Monday, June 04, 2007
*Dreams*--> Waiting patiently for my offer letter. I want to be offered. THIS STINKS. Totally. I feel so "gan-chiong" knowing I havent got ANY place in ANY University! Hais.
Woke up duper late today causing me to miss my theory lesson! :( Horrible feeling lah! I wasted money! Tsk Tsk! :( Went out with Char in the afternoon to renew my passport! Couldn't pick it up today cos' so many people are applying. TSK TSK. Went to meet Zhaoqi to eat Sakae at Causeway! He had nights-out today! Ha. Dinner was nice! :)
-Mel
Sian-ness.
-loves
*Dreams*--> I'm officially JOBLESS! ((: Quit last Friday! ((: It was definately a fun job! REALLY! Thou we were a production line. I'm glad I made new friends there. HAHAHA. And had fun working! After work on Friday, I went to meet Zhaoqi! I haven't seen him for so long cos' he just got back from Taiwan! He was missed. Thanks for the pretty pressie dude!
I'm frustrated. I feel so aimless once more. I miss JC. I miss council. I miss my oh-so-sociable and oh-so-happening life. I don't see my life as "HAPPENING" as it used to be. I'm confused about my future. My life. My plans. Just.. everything. It boils down to a point where I don't even want to think anymore. I just feel like throwing everything down and just walk away. But I know that can't be done. I need to perservere on. Sometimes I feel I need help. I need someone to hear me out to say my peace. But it always occurs to me suddenly that no one understands how I truely feel right now.. Or maybe there are some that do. But chose to walk away..
-Mel
-loves
Sunday, June 03, 2007
*Dreams*--> Went for 8th Elect's Camp. I've gained back the inner self in me! That's how me and CJ describes it. I MISS 6th SC. Miss Miss Miss Miss Miss. We started off by having our own crapping sessions. We WERE supposed to talk about what to say during our sharing sessions which digressed to many other things esp. ARMY! Been hearing stories about army ALOT. We finally had our sharing session! It was quite impromptu but definately FUN! And I definately had a good time! HEEHS. After that, had dinner with Hi 5 at Rocky's Pizza at Railway Mall. I like that place! It gives me a home-ly yet ang-moh feeling. I like I like. Remembered going there alot during JC days. ((: Slept over at PJ! Helped out at their Night-Walk. HAHAHAHA. In the start, it was scary, then it became hilarious. I was walking towards the toilet door backstage then suddenly I heard a "growl". I started to run together with the girls from 7th SC. So we decided, having Shawn and 3 girls would just create a chaos. We decided to grab replace 1 girl with 1 guy. I called Zhaoqi and told him I needed him to come BADLY! Hahaha. We felt so much safer with him around! Commando leh! HAHAHA. Cos' Shawn was also quite afraid.. at times. HAHA. Qi had this idea to improvise different scaring methods to scare the 8th elects. It was so funny! At first the initial plan was for Shawn to slam the door and for me to scream. I screamed till my throat hurted. Hopefully the scream helped to scare them. *Sinister Laugh* HAHAHAHA.
I felt abit sad knowing that everyone got offer letters except me. Even some with the same grades as me. But then again, I'm happy for my fellow councillors. ((: Jiayou in Uni! I'm starting to worry about my future. I have NOT received acceptances. Only rejections. How sad can that be eh?
Cried hysterically the other night. Super BREAKDOWN lah! Thanks to my beloved Char, CJ & Qi for being there for me. Touched sehs!
"This is not ordinary. It's extraordinary. As much as I want to let go. It comes back once more. And strikes me once again. I'm seriously falling into my own trouble.."
-Mel