Monday, February 28, 2005
*Dreams*--> im so nervous la. i reali am... resuls are coming out in less than 5 hrs. how weird is that? remember last year i was so worried for my seniors.. especially jas and other close peeps. Hai... now its my turn. whose there to worry for me? haha, thats not the point. Aha, i keep having these bad thoughts, what happens if i don't do well? where would i go? will my dream of going sa n pj shattered into pieces? I so freaking scared la! how?.... die le!!!
-loves
Sunday, February 27, 2005
*Dreams*--> Hmmm crashed PJ on Monday!! And NYJC on Weds, SAJC on Thurs! And I love it!! Hehe.. Okay Needa go! Results coming out Tml! Stress! Kk. Bye!
-loves
Monday, February 21, 2005
Daphne's Blog
-loves
*Dreams*--> Maybe i did make alot of mistakes. But i've learnt from them, i've learnt to appreciate him much more and to love him wholeheartedly.I've guessed i must have repeated that to myself more than a 100 times everyday. But I really love him. I don't know if I am too late just realising how much i love him. I really regret alot of things during the past 1 and 1/2 years. It's like there are many things I wanted to do but didn't, and now, I wish i did them. Maybe things would just be different, wouldn't they? I don't know why I love him so much, but it's just him. He changed my life. He was my best friend, my confident, someone I could always rely on. But then again, I wasn't someone he could always rely on then. I know its the past and I shouldn't think about too much. But then again, I just realised that he's the only one that let me ponder on so many issues all at once. Everyday i can imagine the past events of how I've hurt him. How knowing how much I loved him, I was never willing to take the first step. Just because of that, I lost him. And now its rather too late, but yet I'm not giving up. I still thank GOD for having him in my life. For he's really the love of my life. It's just whenever i think about giving back, something else happens, and I really don't wanto to give him up just like that, I truely believe that I love him, be it if we be together again or not, I'll still love him the way I do. And I make this promise that I will not only today or tomorrow, but everyday that you left me. Though we aren't together, I still really appreciate you for just being who you are and being the one I love. It's just that things are coming back to me now. It's all coming back to me now...
There were nights when the wind was so cold
That my body froze in bed
If I just listened to it
Right outside the window
There were days when the sun was so cruel
That all the tears turned to dust
And I just knew my eyes were
Drying up forever
I finished crying in the instant that you left
And I can’t remember where or when or how
And I banished every memory you and I had ever made
But when you touch me like this
And you hold me like that
I just have to admit
That it’s all coming back to me
When I touch you like this
And I hold you like that
It’s so hard to believe but
It’s all coming back to me(it’s all coming back, it’s all coming back to me now)
There were moments of gold
And there were flashes of light
There were things I’d never do again
But then they’d always seemed right
There were nights of endless pleasure
It was more than any laws allow
Baby babyIf I kiss you like this
And if you whisper like that
It was lost long ago
But it’s all coming back to me
If you want me like this
And if you need me like that
It was dead long ago
But it’s all coming back to me
It’s so hard to resist
And it’s all coming back to me
I can barely recall
But it’s all coming back to me now
But it’s all coming back
There were those empty threats and hollow lies
And whenever you tried to hurt me
I just hurt you even worse
And so much deeper
There were hours that just went on for days
When alone at last we’d count up all the chances
That were lost to us forever
But you were history with the slamming of the door
And I made myself so strong again somehow
And I never wasted any of my time on you since then
But if I touch you like this
And if you kiss me like that
It was so long ago
But it’s all coming back to me
If you touch me like this
And if I kiss you like that
It was gone with the wind
But it’s all coming back to me(it’s all coming back, it’s all coming back to me now)
There were moments of gold
And there were flashes of light
There were things we’d never do again
But then they’d always seemed right
There were nights of endless pleasure
It was more than all your laws allow
Baby, baby, baby
When you touch me like this
And when you hold me like that
It was gone with the wind
But it’s all coming back to me
When you see me like this
And when I see you like that
Then we see what we want to see
All coming back to me
The flesh and the fantasies
All coming back to meI can barely recall
But it’s all coming back to me now
If you forgive me all this
If I forgive you all that
We forgive and forget
And it’s all coming back to me
When you see me like this
And when I see you like that
We see just what we want to see
All coming back to me
The flesh and the fantasies
All coming back to me
I can barely recall but it’s all coming back to me now(it’s all coming back to me now)
And when you kiss me like this(it’s all coming back to me now)
And when I touch you like that(it’s all coming back to me now)
If you do it like this(it’s all coming back to me now)And if we...
-Melz - Just believing in you..
-loves
*Dreams*--> Went to PJC today, yet another day of crashing. I do feel kinda guilty that I always go to PJC, my friend Guirong was like.. U must really love my school la! Haha.. That was so funny. Lots of people question me on why i keep on crashing. Jy was like.."How come you come so often". I still lost for words. I just love PJ! And today was the most fun day in PJ i've experienced. Haha, we were just hanging around in the morning lazing around, and the other J1s were having a principal's talk, then this teacher was questioning us why we werent in the hall, we were like "cause we don't wanna attend the talk". Haha.. and a teacher ask us why we didnt have econs notes during lecture, we were like "cause we're just coming to this econs class during our break cause we don't take econs presently" !! so cool man!! Enjoyed myself so much, did see some of my PJ J2 friends like Gui Rongie, Jas, Jy and Crystal. Crystal's so sweet man! Haha. Was so fun today! Didn't chat much to Jas and Jy and stuff. But that's alright, just figured that i see them quite often anyways! Haha, and i crashed my friend's chinese tutorial, like darn cool la! Haha...I love PJ! I love PJ! Hehehe.. Wan2 go there.. but can i? It's like only a rumour that the results would come out on friday..what if it doesn't? Hopefully it will.. and life would be so freaking exciting by then. Could imagine the scenario of Jas they all taking their results last year. Stress la but kinda exciting and nervous and stuff! Hmm. Okay...
I really thank GOD for everything that is given to me. My friends, Him..Everything. For my friends being ever so kind and nice to me, being there for me whenever i'm low and down, thanks to all my friends, Chenjie,Zhiwei, HL, Flea, Joseph, Dori, Jason, Xy, Yc and all ya'll pretty people that i just love out there! Thank GOD for him, I know i really did hurt him alot, but i guess i've learnt to appreciate him much more, to love him wholeheartedly, to learn from these mistakes made and never to repeat them. Thank GOD for letting him be in my life, even so we're not together, its just happy being able to love someone so much, so deeply, with all my heart! Ooo, I love GOD! I love you!
-Melz - Written with you in my heart
-loves
Sunday, February 20, 2005
*Dreams*--> I've haven't written here for quite a time right? few days? Went to PJC on thurs! Had an heart to heart chat with Jason. It felt good. He gave me the Pros and Cons if i should take Bio in Jc. Till now i'm rather confused still. But nonetheless, the trip was good and i'm glad i did what i was suppose to do. Well.. it all brings down to this MOE letter that they send to people regarding some teacher's seminar. Yeah i've received it, but still theres rumours that peeps that got the letter got 15-20. and theres this article and all.. but it's all fake, let me tell you, i figured loopholes in it. So don't believe it, MOE won't be so stupid in letting the kids know their results will they? Ha. But the results are coming out soon..this friday i've heard. I'm anxious, excited and nervous, i can't really wait but i still have a worrying mentality behind the back of my head. But even s0, i guess everyone's gotta go through it, isn't it? Hmmmm.. Skipped school on friday and i went to SAJC's funfair yesterday, had a blast and didn't regret it.. Ooops.. Can't chat anymore, got to go to church, bye!
-loves
Wednesday, February 16, 2005
*Dreams*--> Resuts are like coming out in 1 and a haf weeks time. I have no confidence at this period of time. Everything seems to be so blur. I'm confused. I finally understand how it feels to collect results.. worried, excited and definately scared. I have the same confusion as Jason and the rest of my seniors had last year. I hope i don't get some "not-3-not-4" results. To me, i did try my best, but i can't imagine if i did below my expectations. With a worrying heart, the worries and troubles get more day to day as the release of results are soon to be approaching. I'm happy for one that I can finally get out Of MI.Hopefully i get to go to Jc.. which namely i hope to be SAJC.But.. SAJC has stiff competition.. similar to ACJC.. if not, how?.. Hmmm.. maybe Pioneer will be the choice after that, but i'm still quite in a blur. I like Pioneer and SA.. AC is still a pending choice. I would want to know now, but I still have to wait for my results to come out. It's scary man. I went to school today.. not yesterday though, cause i'm still sick...Principal made a speech..regarding the JAE application and about "choice and consequence" . What man.. Sialah.. It really scared the sh*t out of me.. She made me confused, then suddenly i had this vague image of me getting 20 over pts, and me not knowing what to do. I had no one to turn to at that image. But i got back to reality and consoled myself that I did really tried my best, I should not have any regrets at all.. should i?... Then she played us a song by Ronan Keating...i hope you dance. The song itself was rather meaningful and all. But.. It just made me think so much about life. To me, Life should be lived to the fullest. I make decisions and I shouldn't regret! Life is just so short. End time is coming soon I predict. Ha. K, a bit no link. But anyways, Live life like u never lived before! Haha.. I've been thinking alot about my love life too, thinking about the relationships I had, all those crushes, all those emotions and feelings.. I was thinking wow.. At least I had an interesting life man. But.. through these, there are still setbacks, troubles and dissatisfactions, u get?..Mistakes I've made that until now I am still not able to forgive one self. But even so.. I am truely sorry if I really did hurt you. I love my friends man. Though you know, you get pissed off with them for the most stupidest reasons. but I still love my friends.. Henglian, Felicia, Xiaoyan, Zhiwei, Shan, Dorinda, Coreen...Jason, Joseph..everyone of them means alot to me, there are too many to name for now. I give such appreciation for them. For when I am sad, there's someone I have to turn to, at least I know there's someone in the world that cares for me, yah? My friends also play a part at my decision making of my life, through their advice and lectures, I know how to look at life at another perspective. Thanks Guys.. Thanks to Henglian and Jas for you guys really gave me great help when i really need it. U have my 100% trust guys! Though I not a darn happy person and cheerful about life, but at least, at another angle, I'm not that sad after all. I'm thankful that there are people that care for me and thankful for having them in my life. Thanks to the person I love for coming into my life and for changing my life in more ways than one, though we are not together, I still love you loads, you precious one! =) I'm not so sad anymore.. I'm just not happy enough.. but someone in me, I'm still abit happy!! I'm still the same Mel i am in more ways than one. This is a very long blog i've written and I thank you for your patience.
-Mez ...Written with you in my heart and Mind...
-loves
Monday, February 14, 2005
*Dreams*--> Valentine's Day today. 14th Feb. Can't believe time flies so fast. In another 2 weeks. My results will be out. And the outcome is getting like scary. By the way, I'm digressing!! Hmm. Valentine's Day.. Does it really mean that much? Why do i suddenly make it to become such a big deal. I have never given a Valentine's Day present you know.. seriously. Does it really mean that much... but this year is different.. i treated like a special day to come.. I made a present for someone!..I put my heart and soul in it.. It almost made me cry!... Valentine's Day will soon come an end. My imagination of this special day, of how miracles can happen is really shattering at the moment. I was not intending to do anything initially today.. but.. I had to, there was a force pushing me to do something about someone i really love. I brought the present and all.. decided to be home early and all. But even so..things I did today is really not Me.. Yes .. I made the present and all. then went over to one of my girlfriend's house to chill`. Then.. i was given a choice to go or not to go.. the bus was stopping where i was. then.. i was still pondering.. I didn't want the door to close in my eyes. so i pulled one of my girlfriends, Coreen to like get in the bus with me. I was still unsure then, for the whole journey, my heart beated faster and slower and the same time. I couldn't take it man.. I was nervous.. Really nervous. When i reached there.. the person i loved left 15 mins earlier.. he didn't know i was coming.. Sad huh?.. Haha.. But even so.. this is like the craziest thing i would ever do.. and i didn't know till now what was the reason i had to turn to. But even so.. i would never do it.. u know.. knowing myself. cause i'm like.. not like that. that explains it.. i'm not exactly.. normal. Haha. But anyway,...I figured out i did it cause i love him.. till the ends of the earth. I mean it.. And I'm serious. Though i already said this to you. But.. Happy Valentine's Day. I really love you and you mean alot to me..
-Mez. 14th Feb. Written with no boundaries. Just Mel..
Love is when you can't let go of your feelings until you met that special someone. Love is when you can't even imagine your life without that someone. U know very well how he may treat you but you pray he'll be safe and not hurt. U want the person to be happy and you are willing to sacrifice your happiness. I love you.. U know that, don't you?..
Thanks.. to my girlfriends for being there for me.. not today.. but for everytime i needed them.. actually everyday!..I love you guys too!
-loves
Saturday, February 12, 2005
Everything passes away, but I wish I could remember my love forever... 
-loves
*Dreams*--> A moment to remember... A great show...
-loves
Wednesday, February 09, 2005
*Dreams*--> From the 1st of January all the way, its a lready another month gone, soon my O level results are going to be out soon. In another 2 weeks, my horrifying results will be out. But even so, i can't wait any longer, seriously, MI peeps are cool, but...I hate the school and I'm really serious 'bout it! haven't written in my blog for about 2 weeks now! Well. these two weeks been quite hectic. Haha, not because of school, but 'cuz i went to Pioneer Jc! Haha, not legally, but it was definately fun! Lots of my J2 friends questioned me though, .. but they didn't tell! Haha, thanks guys! =) PJC feels like home man.. Maybe cause i know alot of people there! =) n loads of my good friends are there. It feels like Queensway, I have no idea why, but i definately believe that is the school for me. Part of me would like to go to SA too but I'll just give it a try as well! Hmmm. Today is the 1st day of CNY! Happy New year! B-O-R-I-N-G!! But lalala, dun give a damn. Yesterday went back to Queensway for sort of a gathering, haha, it was like so fun! Haven't chatted with loads of my friends for a long time, including teachers. Haha. Mr Chai! =x Saw an old friend, Shi Long, he studies in Taiwan.. Clever! Haha, saw Jy too.. yeah.. n lots more peeps i never knew i'll see again, but definately people that i love! =) Kk.. It was great, really a big blast! Tis week CNY, though it is gonna be a boring one but guess i can catch up with my friends, hopefully!!
-Mez
"I'm so amazingly in love with you, for no reason, the force is pushing me back from a cliff of giving up, Life never been so beautiful until you were around. Till now, my life is depending on your existence and my happiness lies in the hands of yours. You give me the feeling of being HOME!...And I thank you for it, until now, I love you!"
